For years, retailers have behaved like needy friends, sending emails that ping my phone with messages like, “Hi there!We’ve missed you. ” Initially, these felt warm and personal, often signed by “Emma” or “Olivia” from marketing—actual people reaching out with enthusiastic goodwill. However, with artificial intelligence, this personalized PR has become overwhelming and insincere. Previously, a human—Emma or Olivia—crafted these messages, but now AI rapidly generates endless flattering emails, calling me by name, begging for contact, and drawing on my shopping history, and possibly much more. Lately, my phone has been incessantly pinging with “Happy Holidays” and sales messages, all pushing me to act quickly on bargains. AI’s cheap programming means these messages arrive continuously, blurring together. The real irritation lies not only in the misplaced enthusiasm but also in AI’s pseudo-caring tone designed to appear sensitive—an essential 21st-century trait. For example, a card and gift shop’s recent email mentioned Valentine’s Day might be difficult for some and offered an opt-out from marketing. Though intended kindly, it made me suddenly feel like a sad spinster destined to be eaten by cats, despite having a husband. Similar automated sympathy appears around Mother’s and Father’s Days. Since I shop internationally, I receive tender messages from US and UK companies, reminding me of my late parents with awkward condolences. I’ve moved past grief, but these robotic references feel intrusive.

The AI’s assumed familiarity—“Hi Virginia!” or “Hi Justin!” (annoying my husband)—feels infantilizing, like being stuck in a nursing home where nothing stops staff from treating you like a child. I imagine etiquette experts like Debrett’s could offer finishing school lessons to Silicon Valley’s AIs on proper address. I’d prefer AI voices to be blunt or at least consistent with the company’s true character. No genuine friend greets you with overenthusiasm only to trap you in endless on-hold waits, chatbot loops, and eventual disconnection—that’s psychopathic behavior. When utility companies email with overly cheery tones—like the “ethical electric company” announcing plans to double heating costs—it’s a sure sign of bad news. In sum, AI is excessively needy; I prefer friends less clingy than this. Why not create an AI “cool and tough friend” who tells it like it is?For example: “You wanted that Dolce & Gabbana dress because it made you feel sexy, but you waited too long—it’s sold. I can add you to the waitlist or you can miss out again. ” Recent media focus on generative AI shows it can simulate anyone’s face, voice, and expressions, raising new concerns for PR and our communications. Soon, I might get a FaceTime call from—impossibly—George Clooney, who somehow got my number: “Hello, Ginny, it’s been a while. Why did you turn down my Nespresso deal?” The unsettling future of AI-driven contact is just beginning.